Monday, November 17, 2008

Surveying the Damage after a Personal Disaster.

I have realized that the dramatic is not necessary an d extremely annoying when you decide you have no room for it in your life. Feelings are simple, it is when we ignore them and then agitate them after long periods of rest that complications arise. It is when we ignore honesty that the melodrama begins. and as we should all know or will learn to day, Americans coined the melodrama, and to me that is not something we should be necessarily proud of.

I just started thinking about ;whether it is the end of relationship, the final end or the ten billionth momentary pause end, sexual relationships, interpersonal relationships, professional, or personal. at what point do you stop giving pieces of yourself. selling them off bit by bit for compromise or understanding. just to move things along. at what point is the damage to yourself so far, you don't realize its you in the mirror. do you stay to the end. when no one wins and there is nothing even left of yourself to pick up. do you fight until your tired. do you just ignore the problems and go along. i understand these situations are all relative. but when you have a fighting spirit. how and when do you put a leash on it. i always thought i would never, i'd go out fighting for love, for happiness, for anything i believed i don't know. how many times do you pick yourself up? i hope always but hope isn't actuality. if it was only simple as just following the steps of maslow's hierarchy. just climb right up them. no one tells you the self-actualization part is the bitch.

If nothing else i guess friends, bikes, cupcakes, music, and the occasional late night printing session can cure a case of anything. even heart break or just being completely feed up.

self-splotation is definitely the downfall of the current self. i will be attempting to define this whole self-splotation thing. its kind of like Sisyphus. More like a hubris against yourselves pain kill switch.

Here are some Rilo Kiley videos i have been enjoying... they are all definitley about exploitation of self one way of another. good stuff.

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