Thursday, October 1, 2009

in the words of emily hynds


one of these please....

2 years in the service industry *REQUIRED

All through college and now my post grad years I have worked service industry jobs. The typical bartending, waiting tables, counter service, etc... and what i Have come to realize more so than ever working at the latest sucky service job. People are DICKS! Seriously, i feel like the phrase "the customer is always right" and Starbucks have single handedly stomped on the idea... we should have respect for our fellow man... fellow man most likely being your waiter/waitress. The idea that you have to shut up at take being down graded like a second class citizen because they called the wrong restaurant, it's taking a little longer than usual in the kitchen because you 15 deep, you are out of something, or just can't help them with there 20 freaking modifications. I whole heatedly support the idea that since we are a capitalistic country instead of requiring two years service in the army.... two years in the service industry must be served right out of high school. If you drop out, to keep from being fined you must immediately join the service industry. Something needs to change... here are just three examples of the last straw, that has fallen on the camel, that broke its back ..that has driven me to rant!

  • We will call him MR. MIKE McDOUCHE. Called in an order last night, of three pizzas (2-big bosses, 1-supreme) I estimated the man twenty minutes, which he complains about. Thirty five minutes later he shows up to claim his three pizza, when i call out his order...he stops me and says NO NO NO...i had four! I respond I'm sorry sir there must have been a mistake I will add another pizza to your tab and we can have it ready in less than ten minutes. When what i really wanted to say is well DOUCHE mcGOO.... i know for a fact you only ordered three i repeated your order to you on the phone... and we argured about the time it took to make three pizzas. But i didn't I just smiled and grinned. So his tab was 90 dollars. He grabs his cc reciept and puts the largest possible x through the tip amout and then writes the full amount at the bottom. Says to his friend on the phone ( yes he is on the phone the entire time) i'm not tipping "these" people...what a joke! Less than ten minutes late I hand him the pizzas and he (still on the phone) grabs them and walks out the door. I gnoring my have a nice day comment.

  • We will call her Little Ms. Hip Anorexic Chick... she comes into the bar i work at almost every other night. Her and her three little friends. These are very tiny girls who suprisingly drink alot! Every night she will do the same thing... order a dos xx ask to run her card. no tip. twenty minutes later. orders a white russian. ask to run her tab. no tip. thirty minutes later. orders a rum and coke. ask to run her cc. no tip. this goes on at least 5 to 8 times a night. IMPORTANT PEOPLE! TIP YOUR BARTENDER EVERYTIME YOU ORDER! not once or twice or if you have the money... if you don't have the cash to tip.... don't go out drinking. our prices are extremely affordable SO YOU CAN afford to tip your bartender... needless to say. Little Ms. H.A.C. drinks only half and half and coke now.

  • The general misunderstanding of how to tip.... drives me crazy. Restaurants.... 15-20% is customary, if your friend is working and you get the hook up. Tip close the amount you would of payed for the food! Not the 15 or 20% you would of tipped. Bars... a dollar a mixed drink, a dollar a beer(if you order two beer a dollar is still okay), if you order something fancy... like a mint julip...sazerac...BLOODY MARY(never on a friday or sat. night)...margerita... it is more than a dollar. anything less is kind of offensive. i.e the other day at hh.... this guy order 6 drinks. three of them being very labor intensive drinks (whiskey peach... 8 lemons squeezed . whiskey. peach. fill with ice. shake till frothy. fill glass with ice. strain over ice. fill with soda. garnish with twist.) it was hh so he got these drinks for two dollars!!!!!! his entire tab was 13.50 dollars for 6 drinks. he tips me three dollars. this was offensive!!!! Counter service.. for all my pizza and barista friends. it should be a dollar a drink at coffee shops. or a couple a dollars for a 40 dollar pizza order. everyone splits those tips. the kitchen and the counter. when you make 7 dollars an hour those tips really help. that tip line on the cc receipt isn't for fun.... and these places with counter service. these people are really nice and customers make the most absurd request. make this retarded nine ingredient coffee upside down on one leg...with seven packets of splenda individually added. oh and no tip! or can i order the most complicated pizza request with 6 modification for a specific time to be picked up when your already slammed, then add three more things when i show up to the restaurant that cause to kitchen to be put in the weeds. while there are three phones on hold and five more people just walked in...while you pay for your 50 dollar order but no tip!
Granted there are exceptions with cc tabs at the bar.... if there is some sort of special going on....etc... but overall. What i really wanted to get across was DON"T BE A JERK TO YOUR SERVER! Show us some love....

I sort of apologize for the extra long rant but really apologize for any grammatical errors, spelling errors, and indecipherable switches from first to third person.

here is a present for those who finished.....

embedding wasn't working... but please check this out..
DON"T FUCK WITH PEOPLE WHO HANDLE YOUR FOOD

OR instant gratification here...