Friday, November 28, 2008

" i know old habits die hard when you have a sentimental heart"

so ... what do you do. not sure really

i made these hearts once... and the entire process was an absolute metaphor for my life.

i went way out of my way...and stressed myself to the ends of the earth. to just get the materials to make these little papermache anatomical hearts. than i had such great plans for them...i was going to stuff them full of candy. mail them to everyone i had ever loved...ever wanted to listen the things inside my heart that flutter up to my head and out of my mouth....

well i made the molds i bought the candy...i made a mess of my world. just for them to sit. stagnant. never being let go of for others. they were made. conceptualized. crafted.yadayada. but sit in front of me in a purple easter basket. waiting for the day. i get all the addresses and get the courage to send them on their way.

i think. i create. i make a mess (literally and figuratively). i ended up sitting looking at this mess. and leaving no one else aware of the entire process. even though it was all for them.

over and over and over again.

i hope to stop this cycle. but i am aware of it and have been for a while. i still exist. and i have done nothing. i might like it subconsciously but consciously i just sit around and think about it.

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