Friday, December 17, 2010

kolache calf

As of late I have found boot shopping extremely frustrating. Well actually, not just of late but all the fucking time. For some reason genetics have given me abnormally robust calves. Sometimes they are muscular and other times just big... depending on my frequency of bike riding and dr. pepper intake. Regardless, i can never fit all the way into a boot. My calf is always being squeezed to the point of no circulation. I call it kolache calf syndrome.

Is there such a thing as calf reduction surgery... i would do it just to fit into this really cute pair of pink and red heart boots.

First world problems.

Monday, November 22, 2010

keys to the kingdom.

statistics that talk about the annihilation of our planet are pretty shocking because they're are so many... any they have little to no shock value to us. it doesn't matter what type of text they are typed or scrawled in ...they are usually looked over and forgotten about within a few days.

its interesting how foundations, psa's, music videos, artist, or non-profits try so hard to spoon feed the gravity of situations to the masses and all the public does is donate a dollar to wear a rubber bracelet. its kind of sickening how organizations exchange messenger bags and stickers to get people to give a fuck.

This is serious:
By 2025, 1 800 million people will be living in countries or regions with absolute water scarcity, and two-thirds of the world population could be under stress conditions.

This is not serious:
Join the .... Street Team to Earn Free Shirts, Pins, and Other Merch for Helping Animals! It's All Free!

(don't get me wrong...helping animals is important. factory farming is disgusting.)
I understand the idea of marketing and creating a reach to an audience and goodies can entice that desire to join and spread the "gospel.." but i don't have to like it. i don't think creating religious fanaticism through the use of material items is such a good idea. it creates fair weather believers. and maybe it speaks to the moral compass of the supporter - that time can wane their support for said cause. bottom line maybe their just weak. but i think you should also look at the way such supporters are approached. putting flashy music videos and snippets of information instead of teaching them how to research and given hands on experience with the gravity of situations...will just allow the "supporter" to be distracted by the next shiny cause and button pack that comes along. this kind of marketing is just as weak and short sighted and the fare weather believer. just spouting statistics to create believes is dangerous and taking the easier route. try working to create awareness that spawns ideas for solutions to's a lot harder but in the long run has a stronger reach and nurtures the individual thinker.

i guess what i'm saying is where are the think tanks that should be fueling the said revolution that will save us from our species. we're all up in arms... but with what ... anger or solutions.

getting more lost...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

"Animal Husbandry and Cannabalism..."

The Farmer and The Badger came and went. It was one of those love hate shows. I actually built an entire set out of:
* 24 boxes
* 12 screws
* one pool skimmer
* 4o9 bottle
* four tubes of acrylic paint
* two rolls of packing tape.

Take that Al Boreland!

Check out the review the Houston Press gave. HERE!

Monday, October 18, 2010

on the wall

soon to be scrawled...

this just isn't love, it's just the remorse of a loss of a feeling

Sunday, October 17, 2010

back in highlands

my sister's boyfriend took his elbow to her eye socket two weeks ago. i saw her yesterday. it looks bad- swollen and definitely going to scar. she down played it. after about three years of dating fist instead of actual boyfriends she is pretty nonchalant about.

my mother thought the best solution to my sister serial return to her abusive boyfriends was a sit down with what my sister aptly named "the old timers.." i believe it was 4 old drug addict-thieves...and a biker. they all sat down in a house in the middle of clover leaf. but right as they pulled up to the house/trailer hybrid 4 boys came running up with a giant box of vhs tapes. my sister asked where the tapes came from---the boys said they found them in the woods with a bunch of clothes. the tapes all had names like Pure Country-adventure or Law and Order:Criminal. The boys wanted 50cents a piece. my sister being who she is ...tells the boys... "i ain't got no money...but i'm a girl and your three boys... so each one of ya'll give me a tape because i'm cute." it worked. they each gave her a tape and my mom bought two for two dollars. a couple of the old timers bought a few as well. the boys ran off with their giant box of vhs.

my sister said when she was inside... kent... the guy who owned the house popped on of the tapes in...and discovered it wasn't pure country with george strait. it was a homemade porno. and so was everyone of the following tapes they put in the player. those four boys had a 10 year old's goldmine of naughty tapes and didn't even know it.

the following is where it gets weird... kent refused to turn the tape off as they all sit down to talk at the dining room table. they each gave a serious spill about how abusive relationships eventually need to no or jail. sister said she kept trying to concentrate but couldn't because she could hear some woman getting spanked and taking it "real hard," every time someone had a pause in conversation.

then she says it was kent's turn to talk and he started off with... "now sister i have a serious question (while pure cuntry was playing loudly in the background) like that freaky shit don't you... first it starts with a pull my hair than slap me... than fuck you got a gash in your head and he done stole your truck... you don't look like it but you into that freak shit huh..?" sister just looked at him in astonishment and started laughing. kent continued with"here i'll show you some pictures... remember jewel. i use to beat the fuck out of her. green eyes all swoll up ..knock her teeth out. mean shit. you like that. you shouldn't. it aint no good." he showed whitney and everyone at the table a shoe box of photos of jewel with black eyes..missing teeth...nots on the back of her head. really sad shit that he was sort of proud of and sort of ashamed of. the sort of memories connected to feelings someone who can't articulate what feeling are have...

she said they all talked for about an hour more after this..some woman tried to braid her hair during the conversation. sister couldn't finish telling me the rest of the story she started choking on a beef jerky strip and was distracted. people started showing the story ended. but i think i got the highlights. or low-lights.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

! fucking theif !

my best friends are running away to brooklyn in less than a week. i am ignoring the giant elephant that is their departure. i'm terrible with goodbyes and crying. i don't think i even cried when i slammed my fingers in the car door and lost my pointer fingernail in the parking lot of mcdonalds... when i was five. i'm probably lying ... i probably cried like a little bitch. i have a feeling the same will happen next week. so brooklyn... fuck you.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

it seemed fitting.


I want a motorcycle and the health insurance to fix myself after I break my face.

Monday, August 9, 2010

till 4 a.m. -- i'm a fan.

i remember when i first started working at the bird.... we would all work till about 4 and then spend the next three hours till the sun came up, discussing baseball, history, art, music, or whatever one of us could drunkenly ramble about... and occasionally kayo would start dancing with the mop. they were good times.

i am so fascinated with the social dynamics of the 5pm-9am crowd, that exist in this town.

1) mostly service industry, musicians, or students
2) no one is from the same socio-economic background
3) it is fairly incestuous
4) depending on which part of the street you might need to bring your own friends
i am sure it exist everywhere but what i know is here... its so eclectic and interesting to say the least. there are as many good people in the demographic as shady ones. which surprises me continually. so here is to the the 4am crowd as i venture into the stuffy world of the 9 to 5. i will always be a fan.

in the words of roy mata dancing on a bar top...."dont play... dont play"

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

striped jammies

still feeling like i need some striped jammies and a giant knife.

Promise Ring

The first song on the first mix-tape anyone ever made for me.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

i had a goat when i was little. it like to dance on the top of my mother's car. when i was 9 -- i thought the goat and my two cat's ran away. i found out years later.... my mother had seven dusted them by "accident." fifteen minutes before the school bus dropped me off... my mother discovered the goat dead in the middle of the road. my brother had to use the fork lift to dump old goatie in the canal, that ran through our backyard. she said the goat must have just died because rigor mortise hadn't set in...and it kept falling in between the forks. my brother kept having to scoop it up every five feet or so. he dropped it in the river just in time.

when she told me the story it made me that fucked up gaspy kind of---what else was i going to do...

needless to say... i don't believe animals run away anymore. i am a firm believer that my mother kills them.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

(old old old) that dirty word hipster

(THIS IS AN UNPUBLISHED POST FROM A FEW YEARS AGO... thought i'd just paste it up)

So a few months ago, in meeting with the other P.A.L. guys, we read a few articles. some of them pissed me off, a few kept me really interested, and some i never picked up.

SO i thought i'd share the articles. The reason the articles were brought up because we were talking about consumer cultures and subculture, the fluxus of identity issues, and a few members of the group are obsessed with this term hipster....i don't know ... i'm tired of asking why.

Here are the links to the articles (just click the photos):

Hipster: The End of Western Civilization Article from ADBUSTERS, the article commentary is almost better than the article. In that i can't stop rubber necking the dead bodies on the side of the freeway kind of way...

We read a few excerpts from the new hit novel.... (insert saracasm) Renaissance Generation, the second coming of a Renaissance. This one is based on the intelligent and ever growing young consumer culture.. I will admit I enjoy any commentary or study of consumer culture. I found certain points fascinating, hence why the links are up her. But i went to the authors blog and she throws the term RenGen around so much along with Oprah I kind of stopped reading. She also mentioned starbucks as a counterculture.... yeah. Whatever. The Absolut marketing commentary or just the story is worth reading the excerpts from the book and many points she makes are valid. I need to buy the book and read the whole damn thing, but what i have stolen from the internet so far is pretty interesting.

A few semesters ago I was in a class with Andrea Grover and she was talking about how due to the internet, mass media, and the incredible availability for consumers and marketers to connect. The idea of subculture is ever more affluent, more people are breaking through that "i never heard of it because it has never been available to me barrier," which allows for a more specialized/individualized market place. I'm not quoting her... this is just what i got out of the conversation. SO with that i should probably throw in a link for the Aurora Picture Show. These guys are amazing, if your into video art, participation art, performance art, or just checking out one of the best video art libraries anywhere. Check these guys out:

And the last but not the least....
TimeOut: New York put there two cents in on the whole, hipster thing.

And then they have about a million links of the ongoing blah blah blah blah blah....

Really my only comment is, who gives a fuck? These article are very interesting more because of the obsessive nature to understand these things, analyze them, define someones identity to be so finally crafted that anyone can market to them.

Is is evil or is it good for the greater?

Second thing, what else are a generation or a few generations of young adults to adults suppose to become. A hodge-podge doesn't sound like a bad idea to me.... the whole idea of specified cultural identity based on where your family is from, what sex you are, or your sexual orientation is out the window. Not that these aren't things people should think about, should understand, be aware of.... but i don't care what color someone is, what sex they are, or who they like to fuck.... if i like someone as a person, if i like their work, if i like what they have to say. than hey.... i like them... not their perceived packaging but them. i think people are defined by more than one thing. no one is just a label.... so why should style, interest, and the self be so one dimensionally packaged.

of course in a society with so much technology and capability to connect.... people will be interested in bikes, rap, country, folk, graffiti, sculpture, farming, crafts, scooters, going green, eating tofu, eating Phở, wearing spandex, wearing boots, wearing nothing, or whatever they are interested in.... because they found something...anything that made them smile.

"... a lover i did not betray"

its a great quote from one of the pop-ist teen famster movies i have ever seen.... but it got me thinking about this whole relationship thing.

i remember i did a series a while back of heater prints.

they were about 10 total, they were heaters i printed on thai paper. they were the old comfort living heaters, where you have to push a button to ignite them. they would make a lound crunching/popping sound. i blinked every time i pushed the button. it took about four or five pushes before it would ignite.

i love the way they look...

well i printed them in triplicate and wrote

in the absence of family, machines will keep us warm

Sunday, April 4, 2010


I fuck it up all the time. Apologies.

one of those days...

it's a margaret mace day!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

tears for two

tooth tattoo

I have a tooth tattoo.... I thought I'd just say it was a random addition to an already random arrangement of birds, blades, and moth wings. BUT... its not. This tiny tooth on my arm reminds me of my mom.

There was always a tube of super glue in the bathroom growing up. Sometimes it had a push pin next to it because the lid was lost and a new hole needed to be punched in the top. It was there to glue my mothers teeth back in. The years of meth and general party way too hard attitude...started showing in her teeth. The repercussions of staying up for a week straight went to straight to her teeth. I'm not saying it didn't have an effect on the general day to day events. It did. A lot. But the little super glue bottle sticks out in my memory more so than anything else. Sometimes i would get so mad at her I would hide the bottle or throw it away. Not sure what good it would of done...didn't make me feel any better.

I have a tooth tattoo that reminds me of my mother. Who I love dearly but never want to walk in her same footsteps. Every time i look at the tiny tooth on my arm... it just doesn't scream DON'T DO METH... it tells me... don't end up caught in a life that eats away at who you are... don't hide your feelings in momentary or week long indulgences. enjoy life... don't let your life keep you from living.

so my tiny tooth tattoo has a big part on my random arm.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

sepia memories

i have these older memories .... forever i thought they were dreams because i only remembered them in a brown/redish tint. once i was being pulled up on the back of my dads tractor. i heard the pop of my arm coming out of socket. my nana and mom came running over as fast as they could... i screamed so loud. i remember seeing my cat(the one that pooped in my sisters mouth because she squeezed it too hard) stop, look at me, and run. i had a blue sling with daisies my mom made. i always thought it was a dream because of the sepia visuals. i found out a few years ago... it really happened. im just a freak show and have memories in sepia tones.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

something new.

i remember when i was seven we use to have a ton of people in and out of the house. my mom always had one or two friends living with us, doing her bidding here and there ...mostly picking up "the girls" (my sister and i) from whatever we were into or doing the million baskets of laundry. my dad always had at least three or four little soldier (that's what my mom called them) running around working on cars, mowing the lawn, or getting into some kind of not so legal activity. but what i remember most when i was seven was my father's hot pink tools. he had an entire garage full of welding equipment, giant wrenches, and other assorted dude stuff. all of it...and i mean all of it was bathed in hot pink spray paint. i would play with them in the garage and get my hands covered in rust and dirt. wipe the rust on my pants and continue the day running around in the woods.

there was this one particular guy that was always trying to impress my dad. his name was jeremy. he was so eager to please my dad, my mom hated him. i remember her cussing him out because one day... a kitten had run to the top of a tree in our yard. my father yelled at jeremy "get that fuckin cat outta the tree..." so my mom would shut up about it. jeremy without hesitation he bolted up the tree. all the way to the top. grabbed the cat, snapped its neck, and threw it out of the tree. my mom screamed and gasped ..."what... what... what the fuck is your problem?!?" my dad ran out of the garage and kicked the shit out of jeremy. jeremy started crying saying "you told me the kill that fuckin cat..." my dad threw him out of the yard but jeremy was back in a couple of days doing my dad's bidding again. this is how ...i loosely use the word "loyal" these little soldiers were to my father... or maybe i should say fearful.

so it was always so surprising to me when my dad found his pink tools in the local pawnshop and found out jeremy had put them there.

my father... calm but upset found jeremy and took him to those same woods i ran around in. he tied jeremy to a tree with rope. he had planned on using his rusty hot pink saw to cut his thieving hand off... but in my father's true style. he had left the saw in the garage. he made the tack back to the house. he picked up the saw. when he made it back to the woods...jeremy had chewed, gnawed, and ripped his way free from the tree. all that was there... was the rope. you would think that kind of incident would have a person fleeing for their life.

i learned how to make fried egg sandwiches that following week... jeremy was one of my first taste testers....