Adentures in roomMATING

As a 19 year old girl having a dorm roommate was awe4some… it was something that was sort of adventurous…something new and I had the top bunk. I did it for about two years and then realized it was time for me to move out on my own. I wanted boys to stay over… so the whole bunk bed thing was getting al little awkward.

Fast forward to 27 year old me… I’m pretty much the same person just louder and drinking a lot more. I also find myself living in a dorm room style situation again. I love my roommate we get along great…. the whole we braid eachs other hair…have periods together… I yell at her to stop watching those god damn kardashian shows…and it’s not such a big deal we share a room… well it wasn’t until a few weeks ago. Remember that earlier problem of the boys staying over. Well one difference of 19 year old me and 27 year old me… I have a lot more sex. So this rooming situation can sometimes be a problem. We had worked out a pretty nifty system of just noticing when someone was there and timing our different schedules to never run into one another….

BUT ONE FATED evening…

Leaving out most of the details… my poor roommate enters to see as she put it “THAT’S A BOOB….”

In a state of sheer embarrassment …we freeze… all of us. I and my partner just kind of looked at each other in shock and for some reason he reacted in a way I will never soon forget.

Roommate frozen in door …eyes as big as saucers… my partner turns his head around and says “OH HOWDY…”

My roommate and I both start hysterically laughing… uncontrollably. And for some reason the insanity continues and I thought it would be a good idea to share…”its cool ..i think we were finished.”

Needless to say 27 year old needs to get my shit together and my own bedroom.

The Recovery of Loss. Or the admittance of nothing.

MIRROR:
A mirror is an object that reflects light or sound in a way that preserves much of its original quality prior to its contact with the mirror. Some mirrors also filter out some wavelengths, while preserving other wavelengths in the reflection.

Without being too poetic or just sounding dumb. The internal mirror has been in the dark for a while... not reflecting much or even working on preserving anything that faces it. It is pretty much cracked...slightly shattered... and sitting in the corner of a dark room. I think you can hear Edgar Allen Poe mucking about drunk and yelling at birds somewhere in there.

But I'm working on it... duct tape and emotional super glue has been purchased in bulk.

ON a lighter note...

I witnessed my dog make new friends yesterday. He usually meets another and then tries to eat them. Well he met a new friend...tiny ... awkward looking with googly eyes...and yappy. The little thing immediately began face fucking him. Yes face fucking him. I first went to grab the dogs in fear the little yappy one was going to lose some genitalia but before I grasped the little one...I realized... he liked it. He really LIKED it.

It was like a really bizarre cereal commercial ...where mikey likes it but mikey is locked up in the back of a van and gagged. It was just so wrong. But a little voice in the back of my head made me tear up and gasp.... HE HAS A FRIEND. Face fucking or not... he had a friend.

I don't know if that says something about me or the dogs... but friends are good.

danny ray

i sometimes remember him.

i remember me...16 or so... laying on the couch. his head was on my stomach. he was talking slower than normal- about how he could see us one day settled. how i would be good for him. his big dream was to get some land and have a trailer. i remember being so sad. that was the highest his dreams could take him. i wanted way more than that... i wanted to be in new york, writing plays, writing a book, riding subway stations, throwing art shows, breathing in the city. culture. and all he wanted was a god damn trailer. at that moment i knew i had to run. but i was never given the tools. as of now i have only run approximately 48 miles from that town. it seems like a world away but i have come to realize it is not far enough. i still let that place...the stories...the memories sit on my skin. and lay in my head.

if i remember correctly two months later. he had someone else in his truck in my front yard. yelling at me. i wasn't speaking to him...since he stole a truck and had me in it. that's another story all together. but i remember yelling at him for some swastika he tattooed on his throat. i slapped him. my friend spit on him if i remember correctly. when i tried to get in my car and take off... his caught up in his truck. swerved in front of me. i slammed on my breaks and hit my steering wheel. he came running out of his truck ...grabbed my keys out of the ignition. threw them in the street. that poor girl in his passenger seat is all i could think. he flashed some gun aroudn and started yelling about leaving him. i cannot remember what was said...

all i really remember was thinking i wonder if that girl has bigger dreams than a trailer with some land? or is she only capable of wanting the things he wants? or is he even capable of opening up so honestly to another person... the whole situation was sad.

i have heard a few times he finally got that land. good for him.

kolache calf

As of late I have found boot shopping extremely frustrating. Well actually, not just of late but all the fucking time. For some reason genetics have given me abnormally robust calves. Sometimes they are muscular and other times just big... depending on my frequency of bike riding and dr. pepper intake. Regardless, i can never fit all the way into a boot. My calf is always being squeezed to the point of no circulation. I call it kolache calf syndrome.

Is there such a thing as calf reduction surgery... i would do it just to fit into this really cute pair of pink and red heart boots.

First world problems.

keys to the kingdom.

statistics that talk about the annihilation of our planet are pretty shocking because they're are so many... any they have little to no shock value to us. it doesn't matter what type of text they are typed or scrawled in ...they are usually looked over and forgotten about within a few days.

its interesting how foundations, psa's, music videos, artist, or non-profits try so hard to spoon feed the gravity of situations to the masses and all the public does is donate a dollar to wear a rubber bracelet. its kind of sickening how organizations exchange messenger bags and stickers to get people to give a fuck.

This is serious: By 2025, 1 800 million people will be living in countries or regions with absolute water scarcity, and two-thirds of the world population could be under stress conditions.

This is not serious: Join the .... Street Team to Earn Free Shirts, Pins, and Other Merch for Helping Animals! It's All Free!

(don't get me wrong...helping animals is important. factory farming is disgusting.)
I understand the idea of marketing and creating a reach to an audience and goodies can entice that desire to join and spread the "gospel.." but i don't have to like it. i don't think creating religious fanaticism through the use of material items is such a good idea. it creates fair weather believers. and maybe it speaks to the moral compass of the supporter - that time can wane their support for said cause. bottom line maybe their just weak. but i think you should also look at the way such supporters are approached. putting flashy music videos and snippets of information instead of teaching them how to research and given hands on experience with the gravity of situations...will just allow the "supporter" to be distracted by the next shiny cause and button pack that comes along. this kind of marketing is just as weak and short sighted and the fare weather believer. just spouting statistics to create believes is dangerous and taking the easier route. try working to create awareness that spawns ideas for solutions to problems...it's a lot harder but in the long run has a stronger reach and nurtures the individual thinker.

i guess what i'm saying is where are the think tanks that should be fueling the said revolution that will save us from our species. we're all up in arms... but with what ... anger or solutions.

getting more lost...

"Animal Husbandry and Cannabalism..."

The Farmer and The Badger came and went. It was one of those love hate shows. I actually built an entire set out of:
* 24 boxes
* 12 screws
* one pool skimmer
* 4o9 bottle
* four tubes of acrylic paint
* two rolls of packing tape.

Take that Al Boreland!

Check out the review the Houston Press gave. HERE!